The start of our new life

As you all know, the world as Zac and I knew it made a big shift on it's axis on Sunday.
I wrote about him being here but I just have so many great pictures to share.

I think I made it pretty clear that I was not interested in the c-section I had.  Not at all.
I did 2 rounds of cervidil, which sucked.  And followed it up with 18 hours of pitocin, just to hear at the end of all of it, that the progress I had made, didn't really count.
That was the awful part.
To really want something, do everything you can to get there, to believe and mentally celebrate that you are making progress, only to realize it was all in vain, was a really hard thing to accept.
I still haven't really.  I am working on it.
 I just knew that it would be harder on me emotionally to do the second round of pitocin and have it fail, then to choose to do the surgery.
At least, at that point, it still got to be my choice.
I just feel a little cheated by the process.  I put in 42 weeks, 42 freakin pregnant weeks and didn't get to follow through with the delivery part of labor and delivery.
I am disappointed in myself to admit, even though I knew Clifford was coming, I dreaded Sunday morning and was not happy to see night turn into day.  I cried a lot.
My family showed up and did their best to support me.

Maggie braided my hair to cheer me up.  

I continued to sit and cry.  

It made mom cry too. 

They all had to leave so I could get ready to go to the operating room. 

It was just me and Zac... and Cliffbelly. 

I had Zac take this very real, obviously untouched, picture of my "unscarred" but very stretch marked belly.  Not so pretty I'm afraid, but honest and earned. 

Then I had to take pictures of Zac and his last few moments as a man waiting to become a dad.

What's funny is that he was standing normally until I took off the lens cap, then bam! awkward pose.  

I asked him why he was standing like that and he said he didn't know.  And then he couldn't not stand awkward.  A Ricky Bobby moment for sure.  

Shortly after this picture, and more crying, the nurses came and got me.  Zac stayed behind.  He was in charge of the camera after that. 

Zac stood at the head of the surgery table with me as the surgery started.  

I was feeling very anxious at this point, as you can imagine.  

It wasn't very long, however, until Dr. M started going on about how much hair Clifford had. 

Zac got a shot of Clifford as he was half way out of the womb.

Incredible right?

A few minutes later I finally got to hear Cliff start to squall.  

A few minutes later he was cleaned up and I got a chance to look at and hold my newest love. 

Our first family picture. 

I am so thankful to our exceptional anesthesiology nurse for taking these pictures for us.  

They are priceless. 

The nurses needed to clean up Clifford, so I handed him over to Zac.  

This is him, holding his son for the first time.  

He got to hold him for a minute, then stood and held his hand as the nurses looked Cliff Stu over. 

All I could do was cry again.  This time, it was pure joy.  

All the sadness of the morning was gone. 

My baby is perfect...that's all I could think about. 

I kept telling Zac how jealous I was of him. 

The boys had to leave then for Clifford's assessment in the nursery.  

Dr. M stitched me up and I tried to sleep through it to speed up the time until I saw my men again.

They rolled me into the recovery room and after my anesthesia shakes calmed down a bit, they brought in my boys.  Bare chest time was exactly what I needed. 

You can see he is peel-y.  He is well cooked :)

My surgery was at 9am.  By noon, we were in our room and had taken this picture.  

Zac and I look tired. 

Cliff looks amazing. 

After his first feeding (he is a nursing champ!) Cliff had his first visitors. 

Grandma Lolla was thrilled. 

I told Zac to get my parent's next.  They had fallen asleep in the waiting room and Maggie did the honorable thing and snuck out before they heard it was their turn. 

That is a look of sheer joy on her face.  

Annie said she heard Maggie sneaking out and was not about to be left behind.

She, too, was in love.

This face is undeniable.

My sisters were so happy with him that they didn't even mind giving Zac a diaper change tutorial.

Aunt Jackie came down with the sisters.  She knows not to miss her chance when it comes to babies. 

I just realized how HUGE he looks in her arms.  

Ford looks every bit of his 11lbs right here.

Mom and Dad were the next to come visit. 

It is pictures like this one, that validate the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words." 

But I love this half smile from Dad.  

And this one of Annie and my beautiful man.  

I have such good looking family memebers!

Here are a few pictures of the next day, as Clifford got to meet the people that will be big players in his life. 

Pure love.

And, when Dr. M came to check on me, I made sure Cliff got a picture with the man that pulled him into the world.

Clifford and I were released from the hospital Tuesday afternoon. 

I made sure he looked like a proper gentleman for his hospital pictures. 

Home has been a wonderful and welcome change.  

We are getting settled in.  I'll keep up with the pictures of the beautiful new man in my life.

He changes a little bit every single day. 

And don't worry ladies, I kiss Clifford for you every chance I get.