Sunday, September 9, 2012

Welcome Clifford!

It's official folks!  Clifford has made his debut!
Yesterday was a tough, tough day.  
I had done a round of cervidil, took a break, and then did yet another round of cervidil.  
I had made it to a 2, 80% effaced.  
I had to take a break for a few hours and then at 4am they hooked me up to pitocin.
They start pitocin low and slow and increase it every 30 mintues.  
Before long I was at the max dose.  And I stayed there.  I had been on the max for hours and hours, and hours when it came time to make the decision about what we would do next.  
Dr. M is fab.  He laid out all my options and let me decide.  
I had the nurse check me.  There are 2 parts to the cervix, an internal and an external os.  The internal is what matters.  After all that cervidil and pitocin, mine was at a 1 and 1/2.  Clifford's head was still at
a -2 station....where it had been Wednesday.  That was over 48 hard hours, with no progression.

I thought hard about taking a break from the pit, and going back on.  That sometimes works.  I fretted and cried about it.  Talked to my sisters and Zac.  I finally decided that Doc was right all along, his head wasn't engaged in my pelvis, and that's why I wasn't progressing.  I decided to take a night, try to sleep, and do the c-section in the morning. 

I hated the decision.  I still do.  Even though he is here, and he is super fantastic and I fully realize that is all that matters, I still hate it.  I hate all the side effects and the recovery time and the restrictions.  I hate how it will effect the start up of the office.  I hate that in some completely irrational way I feel like I "gave up."  And I hate that I don't feel that way about any other lady that's ever had a c-section, but that's how I feel about mine.  (I know, ridic.)  

Zac and I slept as well as we could last night.  The nurse came to prep me around 8 for surgery at 9.  
I walked back to the OR while Zac had to wait.  They set up my IV's and started a spinal block. 
I've never felt so bizarre in all my life.  I have so much more empathy for those who have a paralysis.  
They laid me back and started surgical prep.  
The nurse went and got Zac for me. 

Shortly Dr. M got the ball rolling.  
At 9:49 Clifford made his big, and I mean big, entrance.
He was whisked away before I got to see him and they cleaned him up a bit.  
Zac got to be there for it. 
I was super jealous.

Clifford weighed in at 10lbs, 14oz.  He is 22 inches long.

I got to hold him for just a few, but lying flat on the operating table made for a really awkward angle, and I soon passed him back to Zac.
By 11, I was in a recovery room with my men.  Cliff and I got to have bare chest time.  It rocked.  

I am happy to report that I feel pretty good.  Very tired, but good.  Clifford is an excellent nurser.  He put in about 35 minutes his first round, then he went to have a bath.
He's back in the room now, and being loved on by all.  
I have got to wrap this up and take a nap before his next feeding. 
Welcome to the world baby!  You are absolutely perfect!

Clifford Stuart Ballard
9/9/12 at 9:49am
10lbs, 14oz
22 inches 
We love you Little Big Head


  1. He is PERFECTION! I am leaving in a bit to come love on him! I got teary eyed again reading this so don't think I'm a freak when I hold him for the first time and cry....(cause I'm gonna). So happy for you and your family. Clifford is one lucky boy!

  2. Congratulations! What a beautiful BIG baby boy!

  3. Oh Abbie, I am so sad that you feel like you gave up, and you hate the restrictions, the side effects and the recovery time and how it might effect your work. But, as I read this today crying, I realized that you have just described parenthood and all the sacrifices that it includes that have been unfamiliar to you before children. Your heart is outside of you breathing on it's own and thinking with a mind that is not yours now. The lack of control is sometimes unbearable. I think for most parents this realization hits slowly. For you it has been foreshadowed on day one. He is beautiful and you did give up. You gave up your plan for his plan. And, I think that is very beautiful and honorable. I've always known you would be an amazing mother. I am very thankful that my brother has you to mother his children. The two of you will enjoy this journey together.

    We can't wait to see you all. We will be down in a few weeks. We plan on making a weekend out of it!

    Love to you all.

  4. Yeah. Congratulations. Are you sure he is a newborn....he looks like he is three months old and has a haircut. Adorable.

  5. And he is perfect! Congratulations to you, your hubby and the whole family. I've come over from your mom's blog. I think you will be surprised at how easily you bounce back from the c-sec. It is never a failure when the outcome is so spectacular. Best wishes. Ann

  6. Awesome! What an amazing 3 month old you have,lol! And what great hair he has. Definitely a keeper, congratulations.

  7. He is gorgeous! I'm new here... I think I came over here from your MIL or Mum's blog?
    either way... I can only say you are lucky to have had a C-Section with wee Clifford!
    My 5th baby (a boy) was 10 pound 12 ounces and I had him 'naturally'.. no pain relief, no epidural, no stitches... NOTHING. But he got stuck by his shoulders and birthing him was MURDER!
    I needed reconstructive surgery years later to repair the damage done to my nether regions!
    Enjoy your wee man and don't feel bad that you did not do it 'naturally'.... you did well no matter how you birthed him!

  8. Oh, my goodness! The "Bomb-dickery" suits him! He's amazing. Maybe Samson would have been a better name???? Now you quit fretting about the office and just enjoy the extra time God has given you to concentrate on Clifford.

    And YOU look fabulous, too! For having never met you, I feel an awful lot of pride in you and wish your little family the very, very best!

  9. He is so beautiful. And you look wonderful too. I bet he is the star of the nursery and hospital. My son was a 10-pounder and he was the talk of the hospital. My advice to new moms is to always let everything else go and let your family and the nurses take care of everything so you and Zac can just enjoy your time together with your new fabulous baby boy!

    Jenny L.

  10. Abbie, he is perfection! Ya done good, lady! Rest when you can and don't fret....things will all fall into place as they were meanto to. Blessings!

  11. YAY!!!! Holy Moly would have been wishing for a c-section trying to get that big ol boy out!! I remember the same exact feelings about the spinal block. Mine was right after Christopher Reeves was paralyzed...I remember the sympathy I felt towards anyone in that situation--and was so thrilled to be able to feel my legs again!
    Congrats, and take it easy...the Lord has mysterious ways of making us slow down. Enjoy that big bundle. It'll take a bit, but you'll be back in no time!!
    I wish I could smell him :) There's nothing better than newborn smell!!!

  12. He's so cute! I cant tell if its his eyes or what but he looks like you!

  13. Congratulations on your big boy!

  14. Congratulations! He is beautiful..and huge!!! Enjoyed your blog posts & I'm so happy that everthing worked out fine for both of you. Good luck with everything!!

  15. Congratulations! He is beautiful! And I love all that gorgeous hair! So happy that you and Cliff are doing well! We can't wait to see him! Good luck!

  16. My son was two weeks early and ten pounds. I had to have a c-section with him. My health was at risk and it just had to be. At the time I had some guilt but he's 12 now and I know I did the best I could. I think that comes with time. Also, I had another son after him and he was natural (and tiny).

    Congratulations on your baby. I love your sweet family. I pray for you all often.


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