My Parents

My parents are Janie and Stu and they are wonderful.  They are all that I could have hoped for as far as parents go.  I think that maybe to have a feel for them, it may be best to talk about them separately.  

My momjohns is spunky to say the least.  She's the "cute mom."  About 5'7" with red hair and brown eyes.  She is in constant struggle with her body image, convinced that she is fat, when in all actuality, she looks great.  Especially after 5 kids.  She always has fun outfits and purses, with jewelry that makes me jealous, even with the ridiculous wedding ring I wear.  She stayed home with us when we were little, played with us, distracted us from boredom. and demanded that we "go outside and play."  We never wanted for anything, my parents made sure of that.  We had a pool in the backyard, a four-wheeler (until Maggie had her wreck, but that's a story for another day), dogs, cats, and Girls Just Want to Have Fun on VHS.  What more could a kid ask for?  The best times were the summer.  We would wake up and swim until lunch.  Mom would bring out bologna and cheese sandwiches, chips and Kool-Aid, man oh man it was awesome!  We used to annoy her by diving off of the support poles of the deck and racing around the edge of the pool.  We also used to take her rubber gloves that she wore when she stained furniture and put them in front of the water return from the filter.  The gloves would get bigger than a five gallon bucket, with one of the fingers swelling to the size of your arm.  We would tie them off and float them around and pretend they were manatees.  I can't tell ya how many gloves we ruined, but mom never cared. As long as we kept our rooms clean, she generally let us do what we wanted to entertain ourselves. 

Mom has always loved antiques, primitives, and all manners of junk and rif-raf.  She generally kept a shop, which she ran out of a fixed up section of Dad's machine shed.  She called it Kinfolk.  She would go to auctions and little shops and bring home truck loads of crap which we would paint and sand and stain and watco to make fantastic.  We would stage her shop and do shows at Bloomington Third Sunday Market.  It was so much fun and instilled a passion in each of us girls for unloved furniture and anything that sparkles.  When Aubrie Grace came along Mom was getting tired of all that running a small business entails and stopped Kinfolk in leu of babysitting the newest addition to our family.  Now she gets her kicks redecorating for us girls with every season and keeping her house as glittery and fantastic as ever.  

My dad, while not in love with antiques, put in his fair share of time fixing up furniture for my Mom.  He is a handsome man, 5'11" and 260lbs.  It would seem like with a weight like that, he's be rockin a pot belly, but he doesn't.  He is very solid and sturdy.  With dad around you never have to worry.  He is the antithesis of a hick farmer, well, except for his southern drawl.  He has a couple phrases he doles out like candy, but I never really tire of them.. My favorite is "Sis, smart is all in where you are and what you're doin." Turns out, he was right.  I couldn't do half of what he does.  He's forgotten more about working the land, taking care of animals, fixing equipment/trucks/cars, plumbing, and electrical work then I will ever know.  

Growing up I always wanted to be with Dad.  While I do love him dearly and I liked the feeling of accomplishment I got at the end of the day, it was really more because I felt like he should have the help and I just knew that it was the best way to take care of him.  If you've read my previous blogs you already know that I am the largest of 3 girls and growing up on a farm, that made me the most useful, the physically most able, of the three of us.  What you may not know is that I had 2 brothers, Danny and Doug.  They died 17 days after they were born. Twins run in our family, and they happened to be conjoined twins that shared a heart.  Because Danny and Doug weren't there to be Dad's go to helpers, I felt like I should be.  My sisters still give me crap for hanging out with the boys, but I like it.  I like that I know how to finish drywall and I can fix a pipe that breaks at my trailer.  Plus, its another way that I can take care of my family and I always felt like if the boys were up there watching, it would make them happy and they could maybe live a little vicariously through me.  I've never heard Dad talk about Danny and Doug, but he always made it a point to make sure the cousins and our boyfriends knew they had a place on the farm and to teach them all manner of man-things that he would have handed down to the brothers.  

Just by looking at my Dad you would never expect him to have the heart he does.  He never hesitates to do good for other, or lend a hand even when it's not convenient for him.  For example, the two super old brothers that live just down the road from us never have to worry about having enough firewood in the winter.  Dad takes it to them by the truck load.  They pay us back in blackberries they pick from out pasture land in the summer.  Gleason always rolls up in his worn out bibs (without a shirt on underneath) with a hat all helter-skelter on his balding head and smiles his toothless grin as he gives Mom ice cream buckets full of potential cobblers.  He just thinks Dad is the bee's knees. 

 Dad also loves my Mom, and I really believe its more every year.  He takes her on dates and writes her love notes.  They keep them all in a little glass jar by Dad's change basket.  He always made sure that we knew Mom came first.  Often times I would get a steely eyed glare and stern poke in the chest coupled with a "She is your mother, and if she's not happy, I'm not happy.....etc." I would set my resolve, make sure my sternum hadn't caved in, and stare back at him till the lecture was over.  Then I'd go to my room, pout, and hate to admit to myself, or my parents, that they were right.  

Of us three girls, it's always been agreed upon that I was the "worst child" and Maggie was the best. Turns out, I just got caught being bad when other's had gotten away with it.  I was never arrested or anything like that, but was often the instigator of trouble around the house.  I was only occasionally grounded, but definitely lectured often. My parents have never said I was the worst, they always treated us equally (with the exception of letting Maggie skip a ridiculous amount of high school).  They hug and kiss us every time we see each other.  Phone conversations are always ended with a "love you."  They give us presents at random and we get free steak and hamburger from Dad.  My Mom and Dad are great!  I always figure If Zac and I can love each other half as much as my parents do, endure half as much as they have, and work half as hard as they do, we will always be alright.  Love you Mom and Dad, you've been great examples.    

How I became Mrs. Ballard

As with my journey to becoming a chiropractor, the relationship I have with my now husband was a long time coming and a little convoluted.  You see, our lives were slowly circling closer to each other for years before I decided I loved him.

Zac is from northern Illinois, near Galesburg and had many, many options for college.  Instead of going to Northwestern, anywhere in Chicago, U of I, or even the college that is housed right inside of his home town, he picked SIU in Carbondale, 6 hours from his family.  He is my sister Annie's age, so he was there for a few years before I made it down.  When I went to visit Annie, my second or third trip down, I was 16.  I stayed with her off campus at her townhouse where she and her roommates where throwing a party.  The next morning, I had to take one of Annie's still-kinda-drunk friends home.  He was a tiny Latino man named Dario and as it turns out, he lived with, and was best friends with Zac.  I didn't meet Zac then, it was a few years later.

I was living in Carbondale with some of Annie's old roommates.  The one I love most dearly is name Chelsea.  She is now married to a boy named Andy.  I had recently split from my boyfriend of 1 and 1/2 years and Chelsea decided I should go out and be cheered up.  I never really went out much, I'm not a good drinker and no one is impressed with the girl that can drink 3 beers and fall down outside but I went anyway.  I set down at a table with her and the other girls and pretended to watch a Cardinals game as I ignored them singing bad harmony to Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl.  Let me just say, that shit was B-AN-AN-AS.  Zac eventually sat down next to me and asked me if I'd like a drink about 6 times until I said "ok...just suprize me" and went back to pouting.  The night was kind of slow. Chelsea and Andy were ready to go and we decided to go to Andy's and watch a movie.  I don't think the movie had even been picked yet before Andy and Chels were upstairs.  I was left alone with Zac in his moldy, low-ceilinged basement.  How did Zac get back in the story....well Andy is from Zac's hometown, he lived with Zac and Dario and a few other crazy boys in a dilapidated house on a party street.

Zac picked the movie Mean Girls which I thought was hilarious for 23 year old boy, but none the less, I had seen it before and found it amusing.  After the awkward Christmas concert scene, I decided it was time to go.  Zac walked me to my car, and I didn't see him again for 4 months.

My boyfriend and I got back together for the summer and on one of his weekend visits we decided to go to a party at Andy's house.  We'd been there awhile (long enough that I fell down trying to carry the cooler through his yard) before Zac showed up.  He ignored that fact that Brad was with me and asked if I wanted a tour of his house.  It was nasty and dirty and unimpressive, but Zac was funny and I didn't mind the other stuff so much.  Brad and I eventually left....and eventually left each other.

The weekend after Brad I split for good I ran into Zac again.  It was Halloween weekend.  He always worked late at Best Buy (notice the pic above of him in his BB outfit towering above the fridge), so it was 1am before he showed up where I was.  I ran into Zac as I was leaving at about 3.  I told him I was going home, showering and falling asleep on my couch watching Joe Dirt.  He said, "That sounds great, I wish I could do that." To which I replied, "you can go if you want." He said he might call me later, which was odd to me because I didn't remember ever giving him my number, but I let it slide.  He did call, right as I started Joe Dirt.  Ten minutes later he knocked on my door and as another ten clicked by I went to sleep.  After the 4th time he asked me if I was sleeping I stood up and told him, "I'm going to bed, you can stay or you can go, you can sleep on my couch or you can sleep in my bed, I don't care, but I'm going to sleep now."  A few minutes passed as he contemplated his options, then he came to tell me he was going to stay and if it was still ok, he would share the bed.  I mumbled ok and kept sleeping.  He had taken off for work by the time I got up the next morning, but from then on, there was rarely a day he didn't come by.

After a few weeks Zac told me he loved me.  I was shocked to realize that I loved him too.  Its amazing really, how your heart can make room when it needs to... Zac wass it for me.  He followed me to St. Louis after 7 months.  We should have gotten married then, but put it off until this summer.  We were married for 6 months on the 6th, together for 4 years on Halloween.  It's not the most romantic story in the world but it's ours and I love it none the less.

(This is a picture of Zac from our honeymoon.  This is his real smile and it's adorable)

How I came to be Dr. Ballard

I was thinking on my drive this morning about how my blog started yesterday, but the evolution of me started a long time ago, and perhaps there are a few people that would be interested in the story. I guess I will start with my "calling."

I have the distinct fortune of being a person who was born knowing what he/she was meant to do. I am meant to take care of people, to fix them. For me, this meant being a doctor. This "knowing" began a long and convoluted path to find exactly what kind of doctor I was actually going to be. When I was 5, I was bit by a dog, on the face no less, and had to see a plastic surgeon. For a while I said that's what I would be. Growing up on a farm, my love of the animals, both large and small made be think maybe I would be a vet. I tried that on for a year, working for the local doc, but I hated his wife and one day I decided to ask her to take me off the schedule. She asked me "for July?" and I said, "no, forever" and that was the end of that. I got a better, higher paying job at a small pharmacy in town and LOVED it. The girls I worked with were great, the hours were great and I occasionally got to do deliveries and it was actually fun. Plus, I am greatly amused by old people :)

I applied to pharmacy school after high school and got in. St. Louis College of Pharmacy here I come! But no. I decided I wanted to live with my older sister Annie. I wanted to get to know her. (Annie, who loves me dearly now, told me that when I performed solo in the high school spirit week lip sync contest was the first time she "thought I might actually be cool." I was 15 at the time, so we had some bonding to do.) Besides, why fill the prescriptions when you can be the person deciding what its gonna take to do the job.

I moved in with Annie at SIU in Carbondale and we had a blast for the semester we spent together. I continued to work in pharmacies, but I also worked for a couple of SIU med. school doctors. The were PhD doctors, not MDs and I spent my time pipetting solitarily in an attempt to study the genetics of cancer. I knew that research was not what life was about for me. My bosses were kooky and I would rather talk to a person about their cancer, than extract the DNA from their cancer and sequence it. Boring, and the people you work with are not near as attractive as those on CSI. I wrapped up my pre-med degree in 3 years flat, but had spent so much time working, I hadn't studied for my MCAT. I had a buddy that had applied and gotten in to Chiropractic school and he suggested I do the same. "You get in post-grad work and you can always study and take the MCAT whenever." Sweet deal. On the Thursday before I graduated SIU-C, I started at Logan College of Chiropractic. I loved it! Not only was I getting the same education as a medical doctor, I was going to help people, not with pills, but with my own hands. Plus, it fulfills the part of me that is bred to love manual labor. Thanks so much farming heritage!

Now I'm back where my family is. Underpaid and scared of when my student loans go into repayment. On slow days I think about what it would have been like to have gone the med school route. People would be more apt to believe that I'm a real doctor. They might even trust that I know as much about their gallstones and indigestion as I do about their low backs and headaches. But...on the days I'm busy (I am picking up speed. I've only been in practice 3 months) I wouldn't trade what I do. Not even for more money and prestige, white lab coats or the smell of antiseptic in too bright hallways.

The beginning of blog domination by the Fox Girls

After much resistance my sisters have talked me into blogging my little heart out... I put up a good and noble fight for almost a month and a half and I caved last night. Most of my resistance to the idea was because I hadn't come up with a name I though really captured me. I'm afraid Little Trailer, Big People truly does sum it all up though and I couldn't hold out anymore. I have both the blessing and the curse of being what I call "nearly man-sized." As a chiropractor, men have more faith in my ability to fix them because I'm not 5'2" and 110lbs. Instead, I am the size of the average man, 5'10" and with a curvy woman body (thank God I'm curvy, it helps to distract from the aforementioned man-size). In June I married a great man named Zac. He is big even by my family's standards. He is 6'4" which is great because next to him, I seem appropriate. The sisters often laugh at how ridiculous they look next to him, which I oddly enough, never noticed.

I graduated from school in August and we moved back to my hometown. Fortunately my parents own rental properties so we get to live rent free, but unfortunately these rental properties are trailers. In fact, an entire trailer park is my birthright. Score! Not only do I get a house that's aerodynamic, but I can also opt to take it with me should I ever need to get the hell outta dodge. So now Zac and I get to live in 15'x70' feet of paneled glory. Initially we lived in a 12'x70' and by the time we got our couch and two small scale chairs in the room, there was a 2' path. A month went by and Maggie got the itch to move into the trailer she and Kylie had bought for the purpose of renting. When they moved into the bigger mobile home (two doors down) she asked me, "do you guys wanna move into the bigger trailer?" to which I replied, "damnit, we do." I hate moving, but when it's from the back row to the front row of the park, there was no good excuse not to. Maggie and Kylie had already fixed up the trailer and except for a good vacuuming, we didn't have to do anything. Maggie even came back and cleaned the poop off the wall from when baby Caroline "sharted" during the middle of the night and it ran behind the back of the changing table. (Maggie still claims she had no idea it was that bad.) I absolutely love my new trailer. I know that its not glamorous and no matter how nice a trailer is, it is still a little low brow, but for now, it's exactly what we need.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention about my husband, he is an electronics junkie. He spent 4 years installing car audio/mobile video and has made the switch to home theater installation. When we moved into the second trailer, we had a fight because he wanted to build a false wall to cover the bay window so he could mount our giant TV and it wouldn't be on a stand. I won, so it is mounted, but there is no false wall. Curtains surround it, so i looks like its floating. Its very cinema like I think (I hope). Anyway, much like my sisters, I like to decorate so I will post pictures of my humble abode soon. Plus, that's motivation for me to finally hang my wedding pictures. Hope you (if there is anyone other than my sisters) enjoyed the first installation of Little Trailer, Big People.