Monday, July 2, 2012

Smelly man

It is safe to say that the Zacman is a die-hard Cubs fan.  Our 3 years in St. Louis did very little to change that.  He is not the tickets to every game fan...we don't have the time or money for that I'm afraid, but he is a "every hat I own is a Cubs hat" pride-showin' kind of fan.  

He will only wear a certain brand.  He claims no other brand fits, which is believable considering the size of Zac's dome.  I figure he should have an XL head if he wears XL shirts and size 13 shoes.  I thank God for his big-ness.  If Zac were an average sized man, I'd look ridiculous.  Especially now that I'm pregnant...but back to the story....

Zac always asks for a few things for his birthdays and Christmas.  He always wants white t-shirts, Puma socks, blurays, and a Cubs hat.  For Christmas (I think, maybe) Maggie made him one happy man when she bought him this camo Cubs hat
He loved it.  He wore it constantly.  

One other thing you should know about Zac, he sweats enough for 2 men.  The vast majority pouring off his oversized head.  He insists on wearing a hat everytime he works with my family, then proceeds to sweat through his shirt and hat at a minimum.  I logic-ed with him that heat escapes from your head, therefore, a hat makes him hotter.  He said it caught the sweat. Gross.  

I have finally convinced him to start wearing shorts...and very recently (like the last 2 days), to use a hankie tied around his head, instead of the camo hat.  I even bought him a camo hankie to increase the chances.  Why do I care so much, you ask?  Because my husband was the stinky man.  

That hat smelled terrrible!  I washed it countless times, soaked it in Tide Sport, even washed it with the whites to get a little bleach action goin.  Failures.  All of them.  

I would frequently think "somethings smells awful" then look up to see Zac, wearing the damn hat.  I threatened to throw it away....he threated to be a giant ass about it if I did.  So I let him smell.  You get to make that decision for yourself when you are 29, and I was tired of fighting him.  

About a week ago I was sitting at Mom's house when she got a call from Dad.  She got off the phone and said "your Dad says you need to wash Zac's clothes in Tide Sport cause when he gets hot he smells sour."  I knew the hat was back.  I found him in Maggie's salon, 20 minutes later, basking in the stink and sweatier than any other man there.  I told eveyone about our hat battle in an attempt to shame Zac into burning the hat.  Didn't work.  
Instead, Zac came home with a new plan via Maggie.  Baking soda and vinegar soak. 

Zac filled his hat up with baking soda, poured in white rice vinegar (because he was too lazy to look for the regular vinegar that was with the cleaning supplies).  That should have been enough, but he decided to go big or risk certain doom for his poor hat.  He added a full scoop of the powdered laundry soap I made, and a whole cap full of Tide Sport.  It looked really nasty....

Ya know what I think really helped, the fact that he just left the hat, in this state, for 3 or 4 days until the next time I opened the washing machine to start a load of laundry.  In the words of Ron Burgundy, it was a "formidable scent."  

I was, however, really pleasantly surprized to find that his hat came out of the wash a normal smelling hat.  The color was a little lighter than when it went, but the smell was...I don't want to go so far as to say nice....let's go with neutral.  Here's to hoping it doesn't go back to terrible the first time he decides to get really good and hot while wearing his Cubbies hat.  I simply can't abide a stinky-headed husband....especially with a stinky little man on the way.


  1. Vinegar works wonders on smelly clothes. It will get the smell out of ones you forgot in the washer that end up smelling sour and need to be washed over. Plus a bonus it also works as a fabric softener!! I use plain old white vinegar in the laundry, especially in the summer.
    Oh it works on getting the tinkle smell out of kids clothes when the have accidents too!!

  2. love you. you are stupid in a good way.

  3. No need for baking soda, just plain white vinegar will do the trick.


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