Friday, August 24, 2012

Eyelash you a question.....

(I know I am supposed to be blogging about painting the office....but I forgot my laptop with pictures at the I can't care.  Today you shall read fodder....and if you have never seen the word fodder and are unsure of it's meaning, I can't care again.)

A couple months back Maggie decided to do a certification program to become an eyelash tech.  
Basically this means that she is even more able to beautify me.  
That's the important part.

She got her certification through a company called Novalash.  She basically individually paints a false eyelash with adhesive and bonds it to your natural lash, making them look amazing.  
And, it lasts for weeks.  When you are super pregnant and have the option of looking better, literally without doing anything, you take it!  Really, if you have the option of looking better without doing anything you should take it period...regardless of if you are growing a 10lb distraction in your belly. 

Anyway, a before and after so you can see just how fab we all could look.

NovaLash Before and After

Her certification class was in St. Louis, so I went along for the shopping and to be her "model."  There were only 2 requirements for models....
#1.  Must not be pregnant
#2.  Must not weigh over 200lbs. 
I met neither...but I do have eyes, so apparently that trumps the rest.  I just told Maggie that if the table gave way below me, I would be leaving with haste, even if I only had half my lashes done.  
(Apparently my humility can wait until I hit that 50% complete mark.)

After a few hours "on the table" I was lashed to the nines and we started our trip home.  I must admit, I love my lashes.  It was a bit of a surprise to me.  I thought I wouldn't be that  into it, but, like I said, I was looking better right out of bed and I figure it has got to be at least a moderate help when some bastard, I mean, loved one, takes a haggard post-delivery picture of me.  

But now back to the convoluted point of this tale.  

As you have read before on my blog, I hate bugs.  Hate is not a strong word. It is simply truth in this situation.  You cannot blame me.  Some awful things have happened in this little trailer due to bugs. 

I am fairly certain that when you are 3 bites into your Life cereal and you realize you've also having a side of ants, you would jump right on my bandwagon and bring your biggest drum with you.  
That or nearly gag and throw it away like I did.  Three times....(you think I'd learn to check the cereal...)  Zac and I also struggled to get rid of roaches.  They were a gift passed on to us by a filthy neighbor.  I have never been more disgusted with my living situation as when those bugs found their way onto MY counter tops and one found his way into Zac's ear in the middle of the night.  
You draw a line in the sand pretty fast when that happens.  

As I have now fully illustrated, bugs are disgusting.  I hate them.  I have reason.
And now, to bring the 2 wildly different topics together.....

The other day I was sitting reading a book.  I was happy, loving life, drinking my iced water....up until the point when I realized their was a leg in my glass.  A FREAKING LEG!  I immediately flash back to my bowl of ants and dump the glass in the sink disgusted that there may be an infestation in the works again.  I was more that a little grossed out, and definitely a little sad (as I don't have an ice maker and that was the last of the ice....).  I could see the whole bug issue starting up again.   The bleach cleaner and the boric acid and the exterminator and the cussing....

Later on that evening I took my shower and got ready for bed.  I was leaned over brushing my teeth when low and behold I find another bug leg.  AHHHH! 
Then the realization hits....that is not a bug leg you idiot.  That is one of your temporary eyelash simply lost it after you washed your face.  

Crisis averted.
I was thrilled...then doubly sad about throwing out my infested drink earlier in the day.
As my mother's daughter, I never underestimate the value of an icy beverage.
 "Bug legs" be damned.


  1. tink tink Cheers. I love my cold water and frosty glasses. I appreciate the shout-out! My lashes need re-done. I am over 50% ugly now. :( Get that baby out! xoxo

  2. You really got mem laughing. I am relating all to well to this story.

  3. Can we see a pic of you and your lashes pretty please? :) My lashes are mega blonde so if this really works well, I would totally do it!

  4. I am sure there is some etiquette rule that says it is rude to laugh at a pregnant woman, but I am nearly guffawing...sorry. :-)

  5. Thats awesome Abbie :) laughing hysterically...sounds exactly like something I would do!

  6. My ice maker is indeed my best friend!..You must get one for having the one of the most beautiful baby ever..whenever that day will come!

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