A tale of 2 dressers

I want you all to know, I decide with every piece of furniture I purchase, if the piece is he or a she.  It is largely appearance.  A big, dark leather chair is clearly a man.  

This is a man chair. 

A chair with curvy lines and white linen fabric is clearly a girl.  

This dresser.... a man. 

This one is a lady.

You see what I mean.  Surely you do. 

The two dressers above, are in my bedroom.  I have the lady, Zac has the man.  I had been looking to switch things up a bit and move out the big, long dresser in my room to Clifford's nursery because it could double as a changing table.  Cliffy had a very manly dresser in his room.  I knew I wanted the dressers to sit side by side, so I needed something to balance out man-dresser.     

I had been looking.  I knew when I found the right one, my heart would tell me.  Well folks, I found her.  And she is a pretty, dainty lady indeed.  

I had been saving up for 3rd Sunday Market.  I was honestly hoping to find a super inexpensive dresser, like her manly counterpart, but that was not the case.  She is a classy broad.  Oh I just love her! 

Check out that chippy old paint and crystal knobs. Like I said, classy!  She sits right next to her man.  

See, he is handsome.  He was also a 3rd Sunday find.  I love that he is dark and simple.  It is a study of opposites in my bedroom and I dig it.  

The look fab together.  It's like when what's-her-face married Antonio Banderas.  That same sort of chemistry...but with dressers.  (also... I wish I had closed my closet door in this picture..oh well)

The best part of giving inanimate objects a masculine or feminine connotation, is that you can make up ridiculous stories as well.   

For example, I like to believe that man dresser has a real tough man name....like, oh, I don't know, Cliff Stu, but not Cliff Stu cause that's my baby's name.  Anyway, picture him with a real tough name, and he grew up on the wrong side of the tracks.  He is a little scarred-up, a little dinged and scratched, and he is now completely taken with the prom queen.....a blonde-haired, blue-eyed debutant.  But she digs him back and what do ya know, it works and they live happily ever after. 

  That would be the story of my dressers.  See?  It's fun.  

Now, take what I have taught you and apply it to your own objects.  You will find love stories, and back-stabbings and family feuds a plenty.  It'll be a regular soap opera in your living room.  Exercise your adult imagination.  Be stupid in a good way.  I know I am. 

P.S.  Now that you know that I do this, just see if you don't start too.  Betcha will.  If you ever move furniture with me, I won't say, lets move the orange cabinet here, I'll say, "She'd look good here" and now you'll find yourself thinking, "Ooohh what a handsome man chair."  Lucky you.